8.05.2010

Customer Service

The following may make you extremely jealous: I work as an assistant manager in a Frozen Custard Shop. I know... oh, I know. But hey, I had to attend a university for five years for this job. I'm deserving of it. Cutting through the sarcasm as though it were baby fat on a roasted piglet on a Hawaiian BBQ, I can find things that I do enjoy about my job. Other than being able to boss people around, which I have been doing since the birth of my baby brother, my favorite things are my regulars. Here are some descriptions of my favorites. And yes, I play favorites. I find it makes the others strive harder for my approval, as well they should. Oh, also, I don't really have pictures of any of them, so I've supplemented them with pictures of adorable kittens, which I also love.

1. Todd and Donald

Todd and Donald are a young-er-ish gay couple who come in all the time. They were the first regulars that I got to know the names of. I like them because they laugh at my jokes and, also, because they know my name as well. Also, they like to take my recommendations on what to order, which always makes me feel good. Once, I got really excited and blurted out "You guys are my very favorites", quite loudly, I may add. This was after I told them that I was disappointed when I saw them walk right by the store earlier in the evening with out stopping by. Later, after I went in the back, they told one of my co-workers that they thought I was "moving too fast" for them and we needed to slow down our relationship. I'm sure it was out of jest...

2. Nancy

Nancy looks like she has had one too many Botox™ injections. Maybe it's because of this that she always seems to look happy to see me- as well as her Mini Mouse voice. Lady also loves her whipped cream. I think she prefers 3 parts whipped cream to every 1 part ice cream.

3. The Four Scoop Guy

There is this guy who comes in on occasion who usually gets four scoops of custard. I mostly just like him because he's cute. I think he is creeped out by me, though. One time he came in and I, with a little too much enthusiasm said "OH! You're the four scoop concrete guy! I remember!!"

4. Phil

Phil is this tiny old man, about my height, with a bit of a potbelly. His teeth are kind of crooked and his stubbly white beard needs some tending. Phil always gets a double scoop in a dish of the flavor of the day or chocolate, should he hate the flavor of the day. When the world cup was on, Phil shared his tale of disappointment with me when he lost a wager during the Spain vs. Germany game. He lost, so he says, $80 worth of quality balsamic vinegar on that game because of those "stupid Nazis". Once he came in with no shirt on, just some bling, shorts, a baseball cap and sandals. His little round belly was drastic in comparison to his chicken arms and legs.

5. Three Chocolate Scoops Man

I always forget this older man's name- I believe it is Bill or something similar. He comes in with his adorable older lady friend. He must be in his late 70's. He is very tall, nearly the opposite in stature from Phil. I love him. He has big round black glasses, no hair, a few teeth, and ALWAYS wears overalls. I like his consistency. Always three scoops of chocolate. Once he paid for him and his lady friend's ice cream in all quarters, but only because I suggested he do so when he pulled out a zip-lock full of money.

6. Sean Nelson

Of course. Not only does he think I'm funny, I'm pretty sure I may have, momentarily, convinced him that I am psychic. I also find myself making him off the menu items regularly, not because he asks for it, but because I insist he gets it. Also, the other day he stopped in right before closing time, right after a very busy night. We talked about how busy it was and how he was sorry he was coming in so late. Right as he was leaving, I went to lock the door and two people asked if they were too late. I told them that they could come in anyhow. Sean then asked me if a little piece of my soul died by letting them in after such a busy day right as we were closing. He asked if a little rainbow sprinkle of my soul melted away just then. It did. And of course, I can never tell him that I know he is the Harvey Danger guy. But I can sing Flag Pole Sitta at karaoke one day and secretly dedicate it to him.

I'd like to talk about the customers that I dislike, but there are too many of them. Also, I know that last picture wasn't a cute kitten, as promised, but I figured I could actually Google search Sean, whereas, it wouldn't be really feasible to Google "four scoop guy" and get my point across.

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