Work It Out

America, land of the free samples, home of the Atlanta Braves, but partial to child labor? Can it be? Let us recap, for a moment, the way in which children are being subjected to such practices.

Exhibit A: As summer approaches, many of America's youth take to the streets. But are lemonade stands as innocent as they seem? Or are they America's way of replacing those neon-yellow "children at play" yield signs with a more devious, dark, "children at work" variety...? The facts stand: hourly, a child lemonade stand attendant can make, ...well, as there are no formal studies done (at least none that pop-up on the first page of a google search), we will say tops $3 an hour. Usually, but not always, there are two children working the stand, which would mean these children are working under the metaphorical "lemonade table" for $1.50 an hour. Now, maybe they get tips every now and then, but I doubt those little rug-rats are reporting that on their W2's. Oh wait a minute, what's that? Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that this work is also unregulated and there are no w2 forms for filing. I vote on passing lemonade stand unions.

Exhibit B: Babysitting. From personal experience, I started babysitting when I was 1o years old. I think I worked for $5 an hour- but that was 13 years ago, I imagine prices have gone up... or have they? At any rate, this is a classic case of outsourcing; cutting away the professionals who need the job to support the bubble-gum habits of pre-teens. When qualified adults babysit, they are called "nannies", when unqualified kiddos do it, it is called child labor.

Exhibit C: Mowing lawns. Much like exhibit A, only with a higher going rate, due to the increased level of bodily harm. If there was ever a child labor union, they should see too it that lawn mowers (the workers, not the machines) get good medical and dental packages, for not only do they run the risk of bodily injury, but also heat stroke. And you may as well throw in dental, just in case a fight between two kid competitors breaks out over whose turf is whose to mow. On a side note, I feel that male youngsters are more commonly employed in this field than female youngsters. Let the union also see to change that.

Exhibit D: Finally, car washers. Can't we just leave this job to cheerleaders in string bikinis and *cough, cough* bros from the frat down the street wearing nothing but board shorts, backwards hats, okley's, and AE® flip-flops? Why take jobs from those who really, really need them?

One last note: I found this site which I have linked here. Can we call this monster.com/childlabor? Please?