Okay, after looking it up the actual quote that links the two is, "necessity is the mother of invention"... whatever. Point being, not all things invented are necessary. Here are some unnecessary inventions, to say the least:
1.) Gum Savers- I had one as a child. If you have never had one, it is probably because they are so vile and you really shouldn't need one, as everyone knows that old gum hardens and collects/breeds bacteria that should probably not be re-consumed and seems rather undesirable. Plus, if you are rich enough to afford a gum saver, then you are rich enough to afford a new piece of gum. Especially if it is Juicy Fruit™.
2.) Bedazzelers™- This one explains itself pretty well. Nothing should ever be "bedazzled", especially not cheep denim.
3.) Diaries with locks- So maybe the male population will not understand this, but as a female growing up I had my fair share of diaries, each with a lock on the outside. The problem? Every single diary with a lock has the same key and can be easily picked with any tool smaller than the lock itself. For me, it was a false sense of security. My solution? To make books which I was sure no one would ever be interested in reading into diaries.
4.) Noodles- Awkward to carry, worthless for actually supporting or saving someone's life if they were to drown, and made from that foam which produced a terrible sound both when wet and dry. Yuk. Listen, either learn to swim properly, or get a useful, less likely to be used as a pool weapon, floatation device. Hell, I don't care of you are 50 and wearing water wings, just leave the goddamn noodles at home.
5.) Candle Snuffers- My, aren't you just the dainty one with your candle snuffer? Wait... you what? You couldn't just blow the candle out? OH, okay, that makes so much more sense to me now. No, wait. It doesn't. Next birthday, I am going to try and pull this one and see how frustrated people get whilst I attempt to snuff out 24 candles one by one.
6.) Sham Wow™- This is a simple one, as the Sham Wow™ is just regular pieces of felt.
7.) Dog Diaper- Just suck it up and train your dog already. Oh, wait, or you could get off your lazy ass and actually take your dog outside once in a while. I also hate that this particular varie-tay is washable... I mean, I get it, environmentally friendly, but well... you know how I feel about dogs pooping. I'm just going to leave it at that.
8.) Dog Car Seat- I know people love their pets... but come on. Not to rag on unnecessary dog products, but this just seems insane and uncomfortable for the dog- unless you have a dog like my mothers, who, when it rides in the car, refuses to sit anywhere but on the arm of the driver looking out the window, which is both uncomfortable and dangerous. Again, as in with the doggie diaper, just train your dog to behave in the first place. Problem solved.
9.) The Magic Bullet™- ...okay, I know how much many people love the magic bullet, in fact, and I would swear before a jury, it is my favorite infomercial of all time. HOWEVER, the Magic Bullet™ does nothing that a regular blender/food processor can not do, only the Magic Bullet™ does it in smaller quantities and actually takes more effort than a simple food processor.
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